Perplexed by Simplicity

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: "Being rich does not mean having a great amount of property, but it is being content with what one has." - Sahih Al-Bukhari, Volume 4, Hadith 453

“Most of the luxuries, and many of the so-called comforts of life, are not only not indispensable, but positive hindrances to the elevation of mankind. With respect to luxuries and comforts, the wisest have ever lived a more simple and meager life than the poor.” - Henry David Thoreau

I’ve noticed lately that I’ve started to care too much what other people think about me. Well, it’s actually something I’ve battled all my life, but I’ve noticed it has snuck up on me once again. Trying to please others is certainly something that will complicate your life. Attempting to live up to other’s expectations of you is tiring, sapping your energy and stealing your precious time.

Several years ago I was absorbed by my interest in the Voluntary Simplicity movement. I devoured many books touting its praises, and still have many of them, including Thoreau’s Walden on my bookshelf here, which I’ve started reading several times but can never get past the first 15 pages. It’s on my “to read” shelf… along with Steven Covey, the No.1 Ladies’ Detective Agency and Man’s Search for Meaning. In fact, I have so many good intentions to be an intellectual person… I just find that my time is consumed with being a woman first. Is this the plight of half of mankind? Had I only been born a man, I’d’ve been been one smart cookie, or at least well-read, that’s for sure. Oh, imagine the time I’d find if I just had a wife to wash my dishes, cook for me, give the kids a bath, do the laundry and the shopping. I’d find extra hours of free time daily. That’s what I need to simplify my life-- a wife.

I don’t mean to imply that I don’t read- I have several books with moving bookmarks that sit on my night table- Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, The Life of the Prophet Mohammed, The Ideal Muslimah, and I did recently complete a 700 page novel. But, most of the reading I manage to do is the “aloud” kind, and it’s usually something I’ve already read at least 20 times, or else it’s the latest installment of Harry Potter at bedtime. Again, if only I wasn’t The Mommy, I could really get into being more selfish. But, it’s ok. I like being The Mommy and there’s always “later” to look forward to when I’m reading Dr Seuss for the 187th time.

Simplicity is relative. But isn’t everything in life? It depends on the comparison being made. A few years ago when I was living full time in the US, I romanticized the simple life of Egypt. No need for a dryer there, there’s always the clothesline on the balcony. No need for a personal car, mass transit and taxis are plentiful in Cairo. Fresh produce at the souq, and the shopping is within walking distance, preventing destruction of the ozone layer and providing free earth based exercise. But after almost three years of living here, the honeymoon’s over, baby. Clothes dry stiffly on the line and need to be ironed- including my pajamas. I don’t go so far as ironing socks and the like, mostly because I don’t think I could find the time. Mass transit is available and if you don’t mind risking your life everyday, it’s a cheap way to hope to get to one point to another in one piece within a fortnight. Otherwise, taxis outnumber privately owned cars here and one usually comes along every 5 minutes, if you’re lucky. Walking to do your shopping sounds great, especially if your lower back and hips don’t happen to hurt that day and if you can actually find the time. God this simplicity thing sure is getting complicated.

TIME. Precious time. I wish there was a magic word to slow it down. Always too much to do, never enough time. I could live a whole lot more simply if someone could give me a few extra hours per day. Or, at least, a wife.

Alhamdulilah

Aliaa said something funny at the dinner table the other night. The conversation had turned to bellybuttons for some reason, but that‘s not the funny part. After a slight pause my daughter said with a look of relief “Alhamdulilah (thank God) that doctors know how to cut cords. Or else I’d STILL be attached to you.” She’s 9 years old. Now THAT sure is something to be thankful for.

I just attended a 4 day seminar given by one Fadel Soliman of Bridges Foundation. The topic of the seminar was about presenting Islam to non-muslims. For example, he discussed what some common misconceptions are, how to clearly explain our beliefs, all the while giving us tips for public speaking and general good manners. I found it beneficial and interesting and one unexpected result is that I have been thinking a lot about gratitude these last few days. Mr Soliman made a good point on the first night of the seminar. He asked us what if he offered each of us a check for $5,000 at the end of the lecture, wouldn’t we at least tell him “thank you” when he gave it to us? Wouldn’t some of us hug him or carry him up on our shoulders? Why then, do we not feel everyday the same enthusiastic gratitude to the Creator, the one who gave us our eyes, our kidneys, our ever-beating hearts. How much is our sense of vision worth to us? Surely, more than $5,000. What about our feet? Our legs? What about our good health in general? What about the fact that plants grow from the soil and produce food for us, and we are all not just a race of humans wandering around on a scorching hot sandy planet with only minimal, tasteless food available to us? (Fadel didn’t use all those examples, I’m just elaborating.) But aren’t these things priceless? Yet most of us humans neglect to thank our Creator enough.

So often we fall into negativity, focusing on how empty the glass is. The glass can be almost full but if it’s not overflowing, well, that just isn’t good enough for some of us sometimes. I’ve been looking around at my life and realizing just how blessed I am. Look at those books on the bookshelf- amazing… someone figured out how to make paper once and we’ve been recording our thoughts for posterity ever since. Now… we can even do it without paper. We can turn on the internet, create a blog and share our thoughts or just type in a few words and pull up information on ANYTHING and anyone we could want to know about. We have eyes and vision and that in itself is a huge miracle. Many of us can read in more than one language. We can sense depth with our eyes and decipher codes and images and our eye‘s lenses adjust to low light or bright sunshine. We can look at each other and feel joy and comfort in the face of loved ones. We can communicate just through vision.

Thank God for my eyes.
Thank God for hot water.
Thank God for modern dentistry.
Thank God for those little wheels they put on the bottom of office chairs.
Thank God for navel oranges, mangoes, mushrooms, pineapple and all the other things that make eating an enjoyable experience.
Thank God for ball point pens. Carrying a quill and ink bottle around in my purse would get REALLY messy.
Thank God for disposable tissues. Again- messy in my purse issue.
Thank God for my children who inspire me to see the world in new ways- or back in old ways. Non adult ways.
Thank God there are people who are willing to work as taxi drivers, and garbage collectors and plumbers and farmers and miners.
Thank God for the telephone, and the mobile phone, and LCD monitors and the people who think these things up and bring them into reality. I am still fascinated by the cassette tape and black and white photography.
And Thank God for bagels with cream cheese and lox- which I am greatly anticipating eating every week of the summer when I’m back in the US. Something about the warmth of the toasted bagel (sesame seed, please) the cool creaminess of the cheese and the saltiness of the smoked salmon… Throw some capers and raw onion slices on… I hope they have those in Paradise. Well. Now I’ve made you all hungry. I’ll stop.